Tag: self journey

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WHO AM I ??

Finding the Authentic "I AM"

WHO am I?

Have you ever asked yourself this question?   For all intents and purposes, we are human, but identity is so much more than a physical body and a personality.  We are something to others – a child, sibling, friend, spouse, parent, coworker, associate, leader, follower, teacher, entrepreneur, etc, and the list goes on, but what are we to ourselves?  For most of us, the outside world has taken the pleasure of creating labels for us, categorized us in pre-conceived programs, and placed us in positions to conform to and while we tend to often identify with the external labels out of ease, complacency may supersede the inner knowing of Self.  Conditioning within our culture and society is outside of our control when we are children, although some of us find ourselves pushing against various aspects of life in our youth and if we do not have a strong conviction and/or internal compass, we may find over time, the entity we identify as is not who we innately know we are!

As a child, we were assigned a name, responded to its call, learned its spelling, and that name BEcame the identifier of our human personality.  It’s used to make our ‘mark’ in the world for others to recognize us and to document our existence within this reality of Earth.  THIS is how humans identify with their personality, yet it isn’t the full signature of our expression.  We are more than a signature or a label, we hold an energetic frequency or expression similar to our fingerprint, equally as unique!  We are biologically animal in nature, holding an ability for emotional expression, and have a conscience to discern the world we live in.  All of this to say we are multi-dimensional beings, and that is before we add the spiritual component to our being, which is often referred to as belief.

Our biological, energetic frequency leaves an impression just like a pen, hand, or foot would leave an impression.  It is only in developing and growing our sense of awareness as energetic beings that we can become conscious of what that signature is or even what it feels like.  Physics teaches us energy is measured in both light and sound, our body emits both and science has scratched the surface revealing the heart/mind connection in relation to the reproduction of our internal cells.  I am discovering the studies are there, yet it has been carefully masked making it challenging to find, but once you do, you are led to more and more about the nature of our internal cellular structure and how energy in light and sound affect every aspect of our BEing.

I draw a correlation to our identity in the same way, we have studied ourselves in correlation to the world we reside in, yet we haven’t necessarily unmasked our truest identity AUTHENTIC to our imprint and expression outside of societies perceptions and acceptations.  I believe this is the reason so many humans continue seeking for something to fulfill themselves and come up short.  We are seeking ourselves, without the labels and the acceptations.  Coming into alignment with our Authentic BEing IS the only way to FULLY EXPRESS ourselves as we were created to do so.  Unique PASSIONS and GIFTS ready to serve the collective humankind.  It is in this symbiotic exchange of energy with the rest of the earth and her creations, that we find joy, abundance, compassion, and peace.  I was led to Gene Keys, by Richard Rudd, to further investigate energetic signatures of my BEing and highly recommend it for those who are led to dive deeply into the meaning of existence as a human.

As we grow in awareness and BEcome capable of choosing our expression, we also realize there is a reponse ability for the choices we make, an accountability to creation itself.  By knowing unequivocally who we are, on a deeper level, by removing the programming, labels, cultural appropriations, creeds, opinions, and judgements we are more likely to engage via energetic matches to our frequency.  We realize we are not victim of our circumstances, but a product of our choices and this can be used to EMpower our life going forward?

If you are challenged by the initial question, “WHO ARE YOU?” and are curious about conscious choice, energy, triggers, and tools and skills to move you forward in your search for who you are, I’d invite you to leave a comment and follow my blog for more insight.  I offer Creative Embodiment Coaching Sessions to fit your personality and know many other providers of various modalities and am glad to recommend others.

Until next time, sending you love and hugs and re-member, “In all you say and all you do, simply BE authentically YOU!”  – Tammy

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2020 Vision?

Are you still searching for a purpose? Do you wonder how to navigate this incredible chaos we have been witnessing for months now? It has been chaotic for decades, we have grown accustomed to a life of fight or flight. A life of forced consent to mass influence and malicious leadership, picking the”lesser of 2 evils.” To systems that seem to be designed to divide our world by labels and judgement. To adhering to personal beliefs in spite of the nasty criticism. To questioning our own morals and values based on a scale that seems to be going backwards. You are not alone, I too, felt like this. It is time to be heard. It is a time to share. It is a time to be compassionate and careful not to judge one against the other. It is a communion of souls who are tired of working for a common goal that doesn’t align with their beliefs and truths. I can tell you this will fall by the wayside when you engage your uniqueness. That is why I have used the term Be-You-tiful for years now. It is important to love and find that beauty within. See, the thing is, you are not meant to be like the others. You have your own light to shine for humanity. You ARE called for more. I will be posting more regularly about this. This is my calling, to share what I’ve been receiving in prayer and meditation for years, and have only understood those messages for the past few months. It is time to step into your own, Be-you-tiful Ones, open your eyes and do not fear anymore!

I had a glimmer of my truth in 2017. At a time when many of my immediate family members were not with me here on Earth and I spent time wondering, what now? I had utilized my energy outwardly for so many years, since my early twenties, on everyone else that I simply lost touch with me. So many of us are on this hamster wheel of life without much regard for the “why.” Much of humanity is searching for a purpose, a love, a truth to hold on to and sustain. It is without a doubt in the teachings of Christianity that I learned to engage in a life of love and light. Systems beyond our control have been attempting, and succeeding in many cases, to hijack our ability to access our higher consciousness. Systems set in place thousands of years ago that are still rooted among us. Make no doubt that when you discover the ability exists within yourself to seek the One who designed this higher spirit within your human existence, you will experience love, be joyful and experience a peace like no other. It is within that search you will discover your calling and your truth.

To break it down simply, think about the first thing all of us on Earth experienced when we left our mother’s body for the first time. Breath. We inhale our surroundings. This very practice brings you to the only place you need to search for. That Love that created you (Whether you believe that to be your parents, specifically, or you extend it to God/Higher Source/Creator) is accessible from within. It is our responsibility to go within and discover the very person we were created to be. Not that of which our upbringing, surroundings or circumstances added to the blueprint of our life. Those are all additional traits.

To explain this in a simpler manner I will reference a game. The designer (Creator) has determined the main goal of the game. That designer may have associates whose job it is to develop certain aspects of the game (i.e. demographic, theme, character development, etc). Further the game design by the influence of the characters. What the character personality is, what their agenda/goal is, what tools or special ‘powers’ they may have, all providing influence in how a person navigates the game. Now the player has ability to choose their character which often comes with a preset program and navigate the game with those skills and level up by performing specific tasks. We can view this as our childhood, the basis of how we begin to view our surroundings and adapt within the confines of the protection or lack thereof in that current environment with parents/guardians, close family members, perhaps religious affiliations and friends of family. All a relatively small circle of influence

Now the next level in the game would represent elementary school age where we are exposed to new surroundings and new people of influence and peers. We learn to navigate a new space developing new skills along the way. Much of life programming at this time is social skills within the confines of a regimented space with still small circles of influence. Expanding our person in developing cognitive and coping skills based on personal and external judgement of that which we are engaged in. Enter standardized testing, “grading” based on peer development and averages, none of which promote personal growth from a place within, its mostly exterior by this point. (Ever wonder why children seem to fall short, perhaps we can view the system as putting them in a position with lack of understanding the actual systems that are in place.

The first few levels of the game are pretty basic, following a preset program and maybe adding a special tool or power along the way. Let’s, for example, say that you come from a home where there is ongoing responsibility and social activity. You have learned new skills to navigate the predetermined program in the game and can level up faster than your friend who may not have the same types of skills. Is this a “bad thing?” Is it fair to “judge” yourselves equally? In this circumstance, I think most people would say they would not place judgment, just understand that there is a difference between individuals upbringing and circumstances. Some may even go so far as to extend this knowledge or special skill to their friend to help them advance. Human nature is that of love, understanding and expansion of those skills.

Moving onto “level 6 or 7.” This is where most children would enter the middle school age or ‘tween’ years. More independence is sought as skills grow and change. Now, in the game you can choose to complete “special tasks” to advance your characters skills even further. In life this may be youth groups, sports, music, organizations such as “Scouts” or “4-H” (in my mid-west communities), community organizations, etc. All of these would develop specific sets of skills further ‘advancing’ ones character that will change the way you play the game and ultimately, the outcome of the game. We can start to understand the perspective that societal differences may significantly play a role in how we develop skill sets. This doesn’t make it right or wrong, we just play the game with the skills we have. We maintain the ability to share with peers how to navigate the game with our skills, it simply becomes more difficult as we age to do this as our game course is established, in a sense, and we may have to undo a task/s and reapply the new skill knowledge to promote more quickly in the game.

I’m going to interject some thoughts at this point for you to ponder till my next blog post that will continue on this subject. Can you start to see a trend in how our Creator had the best intentions for us at the very start, but how quickly entering this world puts us in a place of influence out of our control? As I continue on this topic, you may further understand the analogy of the game. It is very clear to me that I’ve been chosen/anointed/blessed with gifts of artistic spiritual expression and a voice the ability to open hearts by sharing using both of these sacred gifts from the Divine. I expect my gifts to be different from yours, as we are all unique. We all have our own truths creating millions of them worldwide. Embracing that difference and knowing we all are correct in our own truths is a result of trusting the process of listening to the Creator. Once we acknowledge our gifts from the Divine we can access how to acquire the skills necessary for carrying out our purpose in humanity.

Peace and Blessings to all you Be-You-tiful humans, I love you where you are at. ~ Tammy

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Inspire

INSPIRE was the word that showed up today while meditating and reflecting along with the color yellow.  (If you know anything about chakras that refers to the solar plexus, the emotional connection of our being, aka soul, where everything combines together) Being quiet and listening to that inner voice speaking kind of caught me off guard, sort of like being bungee’d straight into the sky and losing your breath along the way.  What does it all mean?

Journeys can change at any given moment.   Each day is a new chapter in that journey.  I wake up and my course has been preset, even though the schedule may say something else completely.  Be ready for detours; they come in all shapes, sizes, challenges and surprises!  I’m learning to have a goal, but perhaps not an ‘exact’ way to achieve it and let the universe guide me.

So far, each decision I’ve made on my path of great self discovery, has delivered stepping stones for my future.  I’ve been able to renew relationships from the past.  It’s brought new people into my life from seemingly out of nowhere.   I’ve given all up to “Faith”  and am able to lean on “Hope” for the future (I know these are my daughter’s names, but there was another reason we chose those names many years ago).   My past was also necessary on this journey and I’m made more aware of that each day, as well.

I know that in time, my creativity will be used to inspire others, but it is important for me to be in a good place mentally and spiritually in order to help them on their journey using creativity to foster self acceptance, move beyond fear of failure and even heal from previous hurts.

I’ve been consistently creating, joined the Valley Art Association, got over my fear of hanging my work to display for more than ‘just’ family and friends.  I feel like I can trust my creative thoughts a little more after hearing comments from others about my work and how they perceived it as I envisioned the work to be viewed.   That being said, I had a creative light bulb also surface today shortly after meditation and I cannot wait to share what I’m thinking about trying in 2019, I shared this vision with my girls tonight, and they thought it was great.   You probably will be seeing some yellow in my work for a little while, and with it some emotion also.

I told my husband and several others that it is difficult to reign in all that has happened and how fast it is hurling this direction.  It’s important to recognize that when you truly follow your destiny; you may have obstacles to overcome but nothing can stand in your way!!!

 

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Spring into action

Well, its been awhile and I think its time to update.  Spring arrived late as ‘sprinter’ and we now seem to have fast forwarded to summer weather in May.  I’m thrilled to be out in my yard planting flowers; making my place of grounding and solitude even more beautiful to look at!  So much joy in prepping the earth every year for beautiful and good things to grow.  This year I didn’t ‘kill’ the dandelions popping up in the grass; the bee population is waning and these can be some of the first flowers to pollinate in the spring; I need those bees to pollinate all the beautiful things I planted!  Birds are chirping and I’ve seen the two Cardinal pairs back in the yard, hopefully nesting somewhere.  The lake is breathtaking and one of the reasons we live where we do!  Our kayaks have been out already and we are close to getting the dock and boats in for the complete summer experience.

I finally purchased my first ‘real’ TREK bicycle and have been enjoying perusing the neighborhoods via pedal power!  It hasn’t been an easy thing to get active and keep active since my back situation several years ago, but I am making progress.  Golf season also started, but I haven’t yet.  Some may know that I purchased my first set of clubs last year when my 16 yr old started Chi Hi girl’s golf.  She has been chomping at the bit to get to the course and encouraging me to do the same.  I will admit I can swing a club but have little control yet as to where the ball ends up!  I have a feeling the driving range and I will become good friends this year.  Only one place to go from the bottom, lol.

I am still enjoying the break that I took from the salon environment.  It has allowed me time to re purpose my dreams from my youth and I’ve been able to set some short and long term goals regarding the outcome I desperately desire.  So far I’m staying close to ‘on task’ and periodically get distracted for small periods of time from my painting, studying, sketching and research.  My planner is helping me, so long as I update it regularly and NOT forget to enter important appointments and dates in it. (sorry if you were on the back end of that, SQUIRREL!)  Those who are close to me know what my current goals are and how close I am to achieving them.  I’d like to thank them all for being my cheerleaders in this grand adventure of life.  I would also like to thank my family for putting up with me being a total art geek about subject matter and my girls for allowing me to do their portraits.  (A totally scary adventure, but I was thrilled with the outcome, Faith’s isn’t quite finished yet.  Turns out not using my skills for years did NOT mean that I lost my ability to read and discern images!  I just need to keep practicing the physical skill of drawing and painting.   SHWEW!!!)

I am hoping Chippewa Falls has room for one more passionate and quirky artist.  I’m looking forward to attending some of the local events to mingle with other artists and artisans as the confluence in EC gets closer to completion and summer festivals pop up everywhere.  I came as close to submitting artwork in the Heyde Center for the Arts Spring Art Show as printing off the forms; I chickened out last minute and decided next year there is no question about doing it, it will be done.  There will be a gallery show in my future, I just keep telling myself baby steps.  Sounds like there will be a similar gallery venue as Artisan Forge of EC located right here in Chippewa Falls near the river.  That is encouraging to all of us creative folk.  I feel as if we are physically together, exposure is magnified!!

Determination is as beautiful as it is scary and has been a staple lately in my daily affirmations.  I have my down times when I revert back to that old self who doubted her abilities; as a perfectionist and a recovering pessimist (we like to refer to it as realism) I struggle daily to move past walls that were devised to cope with negativity, disappointment, pain and hurt.  We are human and struggles are the stuff victories are made of.  SOOOooo, onward I go; marching into my middle years pursuing dreams and building a new and improved me.  I’m not holding anything back.  If you don’t try, you won’t know.  No apologies for becoming who I was created to be, and I sure hope my girls learn to do the same.

Poursuivre la joie de la vie!!!